professional hugs

[heatray5d]

I have an ex who used to get mad at me for how I hug people; her issue was that, in her words, I "use my whole body."

I'm not entirely sure what that means. I think that I give good hugs. I'm pretty sure I'm not a creepy hugger. I try to limit the amount of time I embrace someone, and I don't rub my crotch on people, or sneak in a butt touch or anything. Sometimes I might squeeze a little too hard? But I like to think that my hugs are pleasant because when I hug someone I mean it. It's an expression of genuine affection, and not something I just hand out. I'm not a hug whore, but I am generous with my affection. I think everyone who still reads LJ falls into the category of people I hug, when I see them.

Regardless, ever since the end of that relationship, I've been self-conscious about my hugs. Truth be told, that relationship made me self-conscious about a number of things, and all of them are weird, but hugging has to be one of the weirdest.

So just recently I had to inform one of our regular freelancers that we were going to be reducing her hours - possibly to near zero. This is her last week of regular work for us, and she came in today to finalize the transition of her projects onto one of our in-house writers. She's worked for us for three years; she sends us pictures of her baby, and tells us stories about her wife. She's been a part of our life, and we've been a part of hers. Letting her go is a big deal, for her and me.

So when I walked her out today, we hugged. And it was the same hug that I would give to any of you. And now I'm worried that I did it wrong. Is there, like, a professional hug I should be using?

Comments

[plankton.livejournal.com]

I don't think I'd hugged anyone at work until I left my last job which was kind of odd since I hadn't been there that long and didn't feel particularly close with any of them. Still it didn't feel weird; one was more of an "A" and one was more of an "I". In both cases I feel like they initiated more than me.

One other aspect that I find interesting is height differences in hugging. If someone is way shorter or way taller I feel like it's immediately going to be more personal. I don't know if I've ever hugged a guy significantly taller than me, and when I hug someone much shorter unless I hunch over and go into serious "A" orientation they're just going to be smooshed into my sternum which is way friendlier than heads over shoulders.

And lastly, you should be proud of your hugs. They are a-ok.

[heatray.livejournal.com]

I share your impression of hugging people shorter or taller than me. In the case that we are not super close, there is a slightly modified hug for shorter people that doesn't quite enfold them as much as I might otherwise do.

[canongrrl.livejournal.com]

there was this weird time, I actively disliked this person and I thought it was mutual. When my last day came, he was broken up that I was leaving and gave me a huge hug. It was extremely awkward and not reciprocated. Those are the worst kinds ...

I think I patted his back with one hand