Open letter

[heatray5d]

An open letter to the guy on the train this morning listening to The White Stripes with no headphones on his Galaxy SIII:

Dear Sir,
Stephen Covey, rest his soul, has a great aphorism, which starts out "Seek first to understand." If you are at all interested in being a decent human being, that's a pretty good phrase to start with. I understand it as a reminder to remember you're not the center of the universe, and to recognize that in any situation there's more going on than you can immediately see. If you strive to understand another person's perspective, you will often find that you share common ground, which can allow you to arrive at a mutually agreeable solution to almost any challenge.

Interestingly enough, one of the stories that Covey told in association with this aphorism involves an experience he had on a train. Isn't that funny?

So I'd like to apologize to you for saying you were "really fucking annoying." I had just been woken up from a fairly deep sleep by Jack White's voice, which I'm sure you'll agree is roughly equivalent to someone waking you up by sticking the tip of his semihard dick right in your ear.

Or maybe you wouldn't. I guess you probably actually like The White Stripes, which is weird, but whatever. I like a lot of weird stuff too, so I don't want to judge someone's taste.

Anyway, I feel bad about being surly right after waking up. After all, I was sleeping on the train. Maybe I'm doubly rude for swearing at you, and for sleeping in a public place near where you were going to listen to music on your phone.

Speaking of which, that's a nice phone, the Galaxy SIII. Expensive, right? You'd think a phone that expensive would come with headphones. Or that someone who could afford a phone like that could ALSO afford a ten-dollar pair of headphones from CVS.

But maybe I'm making judgments based on my own perspective. I'm assuming based on your phone (well, and your complexion, and your apparent gender, which maybe makes me an asshole because now that I'm writing this out I realize how many unfair heteronormative patriarchal assumptions are packed into the next statement) that, like me, you are a relatively wealthy white male. I have literally five pairs of headphones that work with my phone. Which was why I didn't worry about loaning you the pair I had in my bag and then going back to sleep.

I just probably could have done it without swearing at you, for which I actually do feel really bad. That was uncalled for. So, sorry.

And thanks for giving me the headphones back as you got off the train. That was actually really nice, considering I had gone back to sleep and you totally could have just walked away with them.

Comments

[cris.livejournal.com]

I remember, back when I was doing solo trips to NY for Sandy disaster work, I was helping clean out this flooded basement with a college volunteer group and two of the kids insisted on soundtracking their work with their iPhones set on max volume with no headphones. One kid was playing dubstep, the other drum'n'bass, and both in the small confines of a basement with shin deep black water was my personal version of hell.

At some point, I just said, "hey, you know what, I understand if you feel like you need to soundtrack every waking moment of your life. I was that way, I get that. But don't let it get in the way of us talking to each other and getting shit done. The volume you guys are going at, it's impossible for us to communicate with the other crews ... No, I am not fucking asking you to turn it down. I'm asking you to shut it off, get headphones or go work somewhere else, alone."

This is all to say, I sympathize, and this kind of behavior isn't limited to rich white males. the only thread is, as you lead off, a certain self-indulgent ignorance of others. And, holy fuck, when has playing music on your pocket device out loud turned into a thing?

[takemyleaves]

And, holy fuck, when has playing music on your pocket device out loud turned into a thing?
My students (mostly college-aged males, but few of them white) do this! When I was in college, we wore band t-shirts to project our coolness/taste; maybe they're trying to cut out the middle man by projecting the actual music.

[heatray.livejournal.com]

I don't think it was ever not a thing. Remember when we were kids there were people who just walked around with boom boxes on their shoulders. Phones have just replaced portable stereos and enabled everyone with the inclination to be an obnoxious douchebag.

It's the democratizing effect of technology!

[popetom.livejournal.com]

At least the White Stripes were, inadvertently, responsible for this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xLnapb-30hA

-PT

[heatray.livejournal.com]

The big difference being, of course, that Weird Al is actually a pretty good guitar player.