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Aug. 8th, 2014 09:49 am
it's been done, dude
Will Ferrell to remake 80s show Manimal for the big screen.
Didn't Rob Schneider already do this? Will Ferrell, don't be like Rob Schneider.
Didn't Rob Schneider already do this? Will Ferrell, don't be like Rob Schneider.
This morning, just before my alarm went off, I had a dream that I was in a world that was kind of a hybrid between Crysis 2 and Far Cry 3. I was hiding behind a bunch of crates with two objective markers nearby. One was an assassination target; the other was some guy I was supposed to contact and extract. I kept assassinating the first guy by shooting a fuel truck and setting off a chain of massive explosions, but then I would immediately fail the extraction and the dream would restart.
I finally realized that the extraction target was getting caught in the explosions. So I contacted him first, got him hidden behind the crates with me, and then blew up the other guys. Easy peasy.
Except then we had to get out of the base which involved a running gun battle towards someone's house. Normally not a problem, except that Roxanne was with us, so we had to keep stopping in the open and waiting for her to smell something, wander around a bit, and then catch up with us. We made it to the house, where we had to be quiet because everyone was sleeping, and sure I just killed a whole shitload of people but I'm not rude.
Then there was a bit of I guess Deus Ex thrown in because our exit was an elevator, which never made sense to me, because wouldn't the bad guys just, like, turn off that elevator? Are there no overrides on elevators in military installations?
Anyway then I woke up really stressed and inexplicably ENRAGED specifically at John Brennan and the CIA for spying on Diane Feinstein. Like angrier than I've been in a really super long time. And I lay there seething about that for about ten minutes until my alarm went off. Oooooooo I was fighting mad. I still feel a little sick from being so angry and it's 1:30 in the afternoon.
I finally realized that the extraction target was getting caught in the explosions. So I contacted him first, got him hidden behind the crates with me, and then blew up the other guys. Easy peasy.
Except then we had to get out of the base which involved a running gun battle towards someone's house. Normally not a problem, except that Roxanne was with us, so we had to keep stopping in the open and waiting for her to smell something, wander around a bit, and then catch up with us. We made it to the house, where we had to be quiet because everyone was sleeping, and sure I just killed a whole shitload of people but I'm not rude.
Then there was a bit of I guess Deus Ex thrown in because our exit was an elevator, which never made sense to me, because wouldn't the bad guys just, like, turn off that elevator? Are there no overrides on elevators in military installations?
Anyway then I woke up really stressed and inexplicably ENRAGED specifically at John Brennan and the CIA for spying on Diane Feinstein. Like angrier than I've been in a really super long time. And I lay there seething about that for about ten minutes until my alarm went off. Oooooooo I was fighting mad. I still feel a little sick from being so angry and it's 1:30 in the afternoon.
Jul. 23rd, 2014 09:02 am
he was terrible at that
From the Wikipedia entry on Jeremiah Dixon (the Dixon in Mason-Dixon; and also, sadly, given his personal beliefs, the Dix in Dixie):
"Although he was recognized as a Quaker, he was not a very good one, dressing in a long red coat and occasionally drinking to excess."
Fun fact about me: I kind of love Mark Knopfler, and he has a whole song about Mason & Dixon inspired by the Thomas Pynchon book of that name. Knopfler's song inspired me to look them up on Wikipedia, which, in turn, inspired me to write this entry. So now you can say you have a writer friend who's very similar to Thomas Pynchon.
"Although he was recognized as a Quaker, he was not a very good one, dressing in a long red coat and occasionally drinking to excess."
Fun fact about me: I kind of love Mark Knopfler, and he has a whole song about Mason & Dixon inspired by the Thomas Pynchon book of that name. Knopfler's song inspired me to look them up on Wikipedia, which, in turn, inspired me to write this entry. So now you can say you have a writer friend who's very similar to Thomas Pynchon.
I've finally reached the point in my life as a commuter that I feel like it's completely beneath my dignity to run for the train. There's another train.
Tags:
Jun. 6th, 2014 11:25 am
famous quotes from my work
"I'll just leave this non-dry erase marker here, in the tray at the bottom of the dry erase board. I'm sure it will be fine."
- whoever used that conference room before me.
- whoever used that conference room before me.
Jun. 1st, 2014 11:19 am
Unbeliebable
Apparently a video of justin bieber telling a racist joke has emerged. What I find unforgivable about this is not that it's 2014, and this kind of casual racism should really just have died out by now, but that apparently bieber gets his shitty jokes from 30 year old racist Popsicle sticks.
Really? The chainsaw joke? Get your own jokes millenials!
May. 29th, 2014 10:19 am
things i learned just this morning
- In Poland, there is a traffic circle named after late Slayer guitarist Jeff Hanneman. It's called, no shit, "Jeff Hanneman's Circle Pit." That this exists makes me unspeakably happy.
- As part of the Treaty of Versailles, German pharmaceutical company Bayer was forced to surrender the rights to trademark the term "aspirin" in France, Britain, and the US. They still retain the trademark elsewhere. This seems sort of petty, but on the other hand, pettiness was kind of the watchword for the Allied negotiators at Versailles.
- Bayer also had to give up the trademark on the term "heroin" which on the one hand is a damn shame because there's a lot of money in heroin, but on the other hand enforcing trademark infringement claims over the name would probably be fairly difficult.
- There is a term called "genericide" which lawyers and other horrible people use to describe what happens to a trademark when it becomes so commonly used as to be considered generic, and therefore no longer protectable. I find that specific word so shockingly offensive that it's almost kind of funny - especially considering it's a corporate buzzword. Am I being overly sensitive? That's a terrible word, right?
Apr. 15th, 2014 07:48 am
After this morning
How many self published werewolf-vampire erotic crossover novels titled "Blood Moon Eclipse" will we see on the tables at Rock & Shock this year?
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Apr. 7th, 2014 09:05 am
maybe? no?
I got a LinkedIn request over the weekend from a woman I met at a club and went on one date with, like 5 or 6 years ago. I assume, based on her completely blank profile, that she just joined LinkedIn and let it eat her entire gmail address book, but still. . . I feel like she's breaking all sorts of social contract rules.
Mar. 25th, 2014 07:22 am
What is "expo" short for?
There's a billboard for the Rhode Island Women's Expo atop one of the strip clubs my train passes in the morning.
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Feb. 19th, 2014 03:27 pm
Goddamn you Guardians of the Galaxy
Now I'm going to have Hooked on a Feeling stuck in my head until August.
Jan. 17th, 2014 08:37 am
white privilege
I totally just pulled the Starbucks girl's black card for referring to Monday as "that random holiday." Am I even allowed to do that?
There's this organization called Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood. The tone of their website is a little self-righteous and self-congratulatory; and they're kind of the enemy of pretty much exactly what I do for a living (lie to children; or, more accurately these days, manage a team of professional liars); but the mission of the organization is a good one. Their message is rooted in the uncontroversial yet endangered idea that kids should just be allowed to be kids without trying to convince them that it's better to give themselves diabetes with Coke than with Pepsi.
Anyway, for the last few years, they've given out the cumbersomely named TOADY (Toys Oppressive And Destructive to Young children) award. The toys that are nominated run the gamut from harmless but stupid - like this ball you can put your iPhone in, just in case your child is completely flummoxed by devising her own games to play with a ball - to the straight up evil - like a website (that I won't name or link to, because fuck giving them any more impressions than they're already getting) where you can pay $60 a year to let your kid pretend to be one of the popular, attractive, weirdly sexy tooth fairies, complete with the opportunity to mock less attractive fairies (not, hopefully, played by other kids).
But this year, the winner of the TOADY is something called the iPotty, which if you can't figure out what it is by the name, how did you read this far? There are so many words before now!
It's a pretty obnoxious product. Toilet training is a critical part of parent-child bonding, a fundamental component in effective cognitive development, and also something you probably kind of want your toddler to kind of concentrate on so they don't grow up to be the type of person who leaves poo on the seat.
But oh my god! If they made one for grown ups, I would buy it!
Anyway, for the last few years, they've given out the cumbersomely named TOADY (Toys Oppressive And Destructive to Young children) award. The toys that are nominated run the gamut from harmless but stupid - like this ball you can put your iPhone in, just in case your child is completely flummoxed by devising her own games to play with a ball - to the straight up evil - like a website (that I won't name or link to, because fuck giving them any more impressions than they're already getting) where you can pay $60 a year to let your kid pretend to be one of the popular, attractive, weirdly sexy tooth fairies, complete with the opportunity to mock less attractive fairies (not, hopefully, played by other kids).
But this year, the winner of the TOADY is something called the iPotty, which if you can't figure out what it is by the name, how did you read this far? There are so many words before now!
It's a pretty obnoxious product. Toilet training is a critical part of parent-child bonding, a fundamental component in effective cognitive development, and also something you probably kind of want your toddler to kind of concentrate on so they don't grow up to be the type of person who leaves poo on the seat.
But oh my god! If they made one for grown ups, I would buy it!
On New Years Eve, I was stricken with a powerful flu, and as a result spent the evening on the couch with ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
cayetana, getting drunk on cheap champagne and expensive beer, and binging on streaming media.
The first movie we watched was Reservoir Dogs, which remains a phenomenal film. It's bloody, and raw, and real, and every single member of the cast gives the best performance of his career. I have no idea how Tarantino made such a remarkable movie as his freshman effort.
Then we watched Dredd, which maybe I'll talk about separately, but is so superior to the Stallone version that it might as well have been a series of animated gifs showing Karl Urban shitting on Sly's chest and hair.
Then, because Netflix was losing the rights to it on New Years Day, we watched ( Lionheart )
cayetana, getting drunk on cheap champagne and expensive beer, and binging on streaming media.The first movie we watched was Reservoir Dogs, which remains a phenomenal film. It's bloody, and raw, and real, and every single member of the cast gives the best performance of his career. I have no idea how Tarantino made such a remarkable movie as his freshman effort.
Then we watched Dredd, which maybe I'll talk about separately, but is so superior to the Stallone version that it might as well have been a series of animated gifs showing Karl Urban shitting on Sly's chest and hair.
Then, because Netflix was losing the rights to it on New Years Day, we watched ( Lionheart )
