heatray5d: (purple octo)
heatray5d ([personal profile] heatray5d) wrote2013-12-03 03:53 pm

professional hugs

I have an ex who used to get mad at me for how I hug people; her issue was that, in her words, I "use my whole body."

I'm not entirely sure what that means. I think that I give good hugs. I'm pretty sure I'm not a creepy hugger. I try to limit the amount of time I embrace someone, and I don't rub my crotch on people, or sneak in a butt touch or anything. Sometimes I might squeeze a little too hard? But I like to think that my hugs are pleasant because when I hug someone I mean it. It's an expression of genuine affection, and not something I just hand out. I'm not a hug whore, but I am generous with my affection. I think everyone who still reads LJ falls into the category of people I hug, when I see them.

Regardless, ever since the end of that relationship, I've been self-conscious about my hugs. Truth be told, that relationship made me self-conscious about a number of things, and all of them are weird, but hugging has to be one of the weirdest.

So just recently I had to inform one of our regular freelancers that we were going to be reducing her hours - possibly to near zero. This is her last week of regular work for us, and she came in today to finalize the transition of her projects onto one of our in-house writers. She's worked for us for three years; she sends us pictures of her baby, and tells us stories about her wife. She's been a part of our life, and we've been a part of hers. Letting her go is a big deal, for her and me.

So when I walked her out today, we hugged. And it was the same hug that I would give to any of you. And now I'm worried that I did it wrong. Is there, like, a professional hug I should be using?

[identity profile] raglar.livejournal.com 2013-12-04 01:56 am (UTC)(link)
I've walked the fine line on this one, many a time. I work in a really conservative environment, but am (as you're aware) a very huggy person.

The two conditions (it's not necessary to have both, just either) that I've found lend themselves to fine hugging at work are:

Closeness. I've got a grand total of one co-worker I would feel comfortable hugging randomly, and whom I hug when I run into her on the street, in a store, etc. That's not true of any other co-workers in my neighborhood. She squeezed my shoulder today when she walked by me in the cafeteria, just to say hi. That was awesome.

Punctuation. End-of-school-year hugs. Oh-my-god-it's-been-all-summer hugs. Merry-Christmas hugs. Or, in your case - I'm-sorry-about-this-it's-super-shitty-don't-think-it-means-I-don't-care-about-you-you're-still-a-wonderful-person hugs, to say goodbye.

I think that the circumstances make it a good thing, not even just neutral.

And for the record. Hug me however the fuck you want to.

HOWEVER THE FUCK YOU WANT TO. I just might demand a cut of any picture sales.