happy!

Next month, I turn 35, which means I’ll be suddenly exiting the demographic so enthusiastically targeted by nearly every advertiser, filmmaker, television producer, radio program manager, video game maker, music producer, and restaurant. There’s already plenty about the world that I don’t understand, but up until this birthday I’ve at least had a chance. From here on out, the world, apparently, begins to speak a progressively more foreign dialect as I begin the inevitable but hotly anticipated slide into crochityness.

That’s not right. Crotchitishness? Crotchitery? Crotchitude? That last one is especially not right.

I need to make sure my next apartment has a lawn so I can tell kids to get off it.

I’m looking forward to the day when I’m watching television and a commercial comes on for something that I don’t recognize and can’t understand. I’m excited for the fear and confusion that will bring, as my life turns increasingly into a series of experiences and impressions that baffle and upset me. Thirty-five is the beginning of the descent into old age folks. I know a lot of you precede me there, but I’m psyched to be joining you.

What shouldn’t I do any more? No more dancing, certainly. My pants need to be pulled up way too high for that. I need to pick up golf, or if I’m going to be a particularly active old man, tennis. My drinking will finally make the transition to alcoholism, as youthful exuberance can no longer be used as an excuse. Likewise, checking out girls takes on a different character as I suddenly transform from a moderately attractive stranger to a creepy old man. I suppose 35 is the right year to suddenly realize I want babies and go into a mating frenzy and begin desperately seeking a wife. So watch out ladies.

When you wish me a happy birthday next month, please be sure to do so in a loud, clearly enunciated manner. My hearing isn’t what it used to be.

my box

So, also, my computer has started randomly shutting down. Overheating of one of the graphics cards seems to be the most likely culprit as I’ve suspected they were on their way out for some time now anyway.

I opened the box up this morning and found surprisingly little cat hair inside. Perhaps it’s all deeply intertwined with the fans. Anyway, at least part of this evening will be spent with a can of compressed air, trying to blow things out of various nooks and crannies, and maybe rearranging my room slightly to give the computer a little more space, possibly closer to the air conditioner.

Failing that, I guess I can pick up a pretty solid new graphics card for less than $250. They’ve gotten so cheap! Anyone have recommendations for the recent generation of graphics cards?