(no subject)

I learned some stuff this weekend.

First, jungle gyms are not for fighting on, even if they do look like Thunderdome. If you must fight on one, make sure you’re the first one to the top, so that the other guy can’t kick you in the head on the way up.

Also, lose some weight before you start climbing on one, fatass. Jungle gyms are for tiny people.

Getting hit with a traffic cone is startling.

Don’t watch Bloodsport before you watch any other movie. Bloodsport is so awesome that you will be unable to avoid unfavorably comparing any other movie you watch to it. No other movie quite matches it for cock-punching badassity. In some movies, people do the splits, and in some movies people punch other people in the dick. But only Bloodsport has a guy doing the splits while punching someone in the dick.

On a related note, I’m sure there are ingredients to a good movie other than tits, gunplay and dick jokes, but I can’t for the life of me imagine what those ingredients might be. Australians? Arbitrary lesbian make-out sessions? No one can say.

As a DM, a great-axe will ALWAYS crit on the character you least want to kill.