Roxanne

[heatray5d]

Roxanne is chock full of awesome. She is also, apparently, chock full of poo as well. So chock full, in fact, that it recently became a problem. Especially when all that poo became a delivery system for a moderate amount of blood.

I've always associated pooping blood with imminent and painful death. People with Ebola poo blood. When it comes to dogs, however – or at least my dog – pooping blood is just something that happens for no detectable reason. Four days in the hospital saw the end of the Plague of Bloody Poo (which is the one where Pharoah looked up at the sky and said, "hrrrrg! Okay, Hebrew god! nnngf! They can goooooaarrrgh!"), the accumulation of several more thousands in debt, and a slightly skinnier hound.

However, what Angell's very expensive machines did discover was a tumor on her adrenal gland. The tumor is large enough that it is sort of wrapped around her vena cava, which is a bit that sticks off the heart, and through which all of her blood flows.

There's a surgery that can take care of this, but here's the thing: Roxanne is 15 years old – well past her expiration date - and the surgery could potentially turn into a bypass operation rather than a simple mass removal. Plus there's all the CT scans and crap leading up to such a surgery. For the amount something like this would cost me, I could probably by land and a small herd of replacement basset hounds. So no surgery.

Given that, there are four things that could happen. If it's one kind of adrenal tumor, she could produce excess steroids and get Cushing's syndrome. This usually involves weight gain and excess urination. I don't know how I would diagnose excess urination since she's a fountain of piss normally, but she's lost 11 pounds recently (time for some high fat foods!). Also, something about her precious blood tells the vets this is unlikely. So that's probably not it.

The second option is that the adrenal tumor forces the production, in bursts, of excitability hormones. This could explain her intermittent anxiety attacks, but probably not. What happens in this case is she has a sudden adrenaline surge and her brain explodes, hopefully not in any of the carpeted rooms. Very fast, very sudden.

Curtain number three reveals possibly the messiest option, in which the tumor's growth pinches off the vena cava and she bleeds to death internally. Again, pretty fast, and probably about as painful as suffocation. I have every confidence that, despite this being an internal bleed out, Roxanne will find a way to externalize as much of it as possible. It's her way.

The final, and least fun, option is metastasis, in which the tumor has kids who grow up and go to college on other important organs. This is called cancer, and we all know exactly how great it is.

Any or all of these things could occur today, or five years from now. Right now, she is as comfortable and happy as anyone who is basically 105 in dog years. Meaning she's half-blind, can't hear and gets stupider every day, but she wags her tail when she gets bacon and still bites my knees for no reason. Also, she likes to chase the kittens with her mouth open like the T. Rex in Jurassic Park.

I know a number of you have a great deal of affection for Roxanne, despite the fact that she is the Darth Vader of dogs. If, for whatever reason, you wanted to see her before I have her freeze-dried and turned into an end table, sooner rather than later would be best.

Comments

[sirendipity.livejournal.com]

:'(

A visit would be nice.

[alonewiththemoon]

These kinds of diagnoses are the worst, but it seems to me that it all ultimately comes down to old age, and a good old age for her breed at that. You're taking the right approach, I think, and you'll know when it's time.

[talesinsdaughtr.livejournal.com]

Strangely enough, I'm finding myself feeling that I'll miss your messy old sweetheart. And that's after only living with her for a week. I can imagine what that's like after living with her for 15 years.

[xenoglaux]

Sorry man.
Be seeing you Hound.

[spitcurl.livejournal.com]

That poor pooch has had such a host of medical issues over time, and its got to be dreadful to watch her suffer. :( I miss her. And you guys.

Yes, please LMK when a visit would work for both you & Roxanne.

:(

[hellocatgirl.livejournal.com]

I would like a doggie visit. Poor Roxanne.

[militart.livejournal.com]

Ohhh...you know I would love to see Roxanne. I'm sure she still loves me even though she hasn't seen me in so long. This post made me teary-eyed =(

[(Anonymous)]

Poor Hound!

She's lived a wonderful and colorful life and you've gone well beyond the call of duty to meet her every need. None of the options sound particularly good but I hope she can live the rest of her days in as little pain as possible and go quietly in her sleep. She'll be missed.

How do you do that thing

[bettyscout.livejournal.com]

Where you get me laughing so I shoot iced latte out my nose while talking about all the horrible ways that Roxanne could end in the near future.

Anyway- I will have to find a way to make time to see you and her- but I don't quite know how. I am coming to new york next week, but I am working, so its not a easy trip up to boston and back, but maybe I can train up on a saturday and train back sunday afternoon, we should talk...

[brigid.livejournal.com]

i am sorry to hear that she is ill. in general i would like to see you, tegin, roxanne, and robocop.
maybe we can do this sooner than later? weeknights are better for me for the forseeable future (my dad is hella sick and i wll be in ny every weekend for lord knows how long)

[emcicle.livejournal.com]

I've never met Roxanne, but i've heard and read stories. And I have pets of my own and I know that even when they are annoying and inconvenient, we still love them. I was devestated when we had to have tooth surgery on the cats, and that wasn't even that serious. I can't imagine finding out something like what's going on with Roxanne. I'm sorry to hear she is ill and may not be long for this world. I know boys aren't gushy, but it's still sad. I'll think happy thoughts for you and her.

[justinbastard.livejournal.com]

Squeeze them haunches for me!

[liza.livejournal.com]

Poor puppy.

I know what it's like to have ambiguous feelings about a long-lived, high-poop-volume pet. There are a few things I miss about my iguana, but the sound of a liquid squirt immediately followed by a tidal wave of gaseous nauseating smell is not one of them. Nevertheless, I cried like Susan Lucci when I had him put down.

I hope Roxanne's last days are comfortable and perhaps slightly constipated.

[couplingchaos.livejournal.com]

Wow, enough people want to visit your dog, perhaps you should have a going-away party for her.

I'm sorry you're going through this; you've been a dedicated pet owner, and I think you're making the right decision.

[sarahravia.livejournal.com]

I always knew the hound would make a big production about her death. She's so pale and tragic...

I've never seen a bassett with Cushings. In my mind, Cushings is for fat little Bichon Frisse dogs. Cushings also gives you this gross skin thing where areas of the skin harden and become like little continents accross the great sea of fat that was once a dog. I assume they did an ACTH stimulation test. Cortisol levels in the plasma and all that... Doesn't seem likely, anyway.

I've seen many dogs die from internal bleeding. It's kinda like watching them bleed to death externally, except all the blood is just filling up the abdomen and slowly pushing the diaphragm so they can't breathe. And just like anyone bleeding to death they get cold and it's uncomfortable.
Sometimes they are bleeding internally from some sort of poison or sometimes it's for this exact reason--fucking cancer. Tumors rupturing organs...ruptured splenic mass is salvagable sometimes. Sometimes they open up a dog and see all the cancer...I feel like that's what will happen if they open up the bassett...like they'll go in to remove a tumor and see tons of others.


I don't want Roxanne to die. I'm really going to miss her. All the nights of cuddling..and haunches. I love the haunches. Her soft ears. I remember when we would all sleep on our left side- all under the blankets and our heads on the pillows- first Roxanne, then me, and then Forest with his arm across both of us. At least there is time to make her feel loved. Hey Forest, feed her a happy meal before she dies- okay?

[bnp1223.livejournal.com]

sad hound...

[saturniidae.livejournal.com]

My former dog had a similar, non-cushings adrenal tumor, and it never did a darn thing except make her drink and pee a little more than normal. She died of something unrelated, years later. Hopefully it will be the same for Roxanne. She does have a remarkable tenacity.